You guys. YOU GUYS. It's February 23, and you know what that means: We're officially at the one-month mark for counting down to "The Hunger Games" release. And with so little time left before the most anticipated movie of 2012 hits theaters, it's a fair bet that fans everywhere are going to either a) lose their last remaining shred of cool and spend the next 29 days in non-stop screeching hysterics, or b) suffer total fangirl overload, melt every last synapse in their brains, and spend the next 20 years in a persistent vegetative state.
And nobody wants THAT.
So instead of leaving you to your own devices, we've come up with a list of daily activities to help you prepare for the Most Important Cinematic Event of All Time—the better to keep your excitement at a reasonable level, and your internal wiring as un-melted as possible. So get ready, get set, and start counting down to March 23, beginning with...
Day 1: Cross off the first day in the final countdown to "The Hunger Games" release in a formal champagne ceremony. Cannon fire optional but recommended.
Day 2: If you haven't pre-ordered tickets, purchase them. If you have pre-ordered them, spend a minimum of three hours stroking them while muttering, "My preciousssssss".
Day 3: Tell your family that for the next month, you will only answer to "Katniss".
Day 4: Take up archery.
Day 5: Stage a mock-Arena in your backyard and populate it with dummy tributes. Murder them in a variety of creative ways. Make it realistic.
Day 6: Attempt to explain "Hunger Games" death tableau to skeptical members of your local law enforcement office. Be arrested for disturbing the peace. Spend the night in jail when you refer to an officer as "traitorous Capitol scum".
Day 7: Relax with a hot bowl of Greasy Sae's Mystery Stew.
Day 8: Craft your own Mockingjay pin out of paperclips and gum.
Day 9 - 11: Using this map, embark on a roadtrip to the nearest District.
Day 12: Record your own "Hunger Games" parody à la Lana del Rey’s "Hunger Games."
Day 13: Write at least 10 filthy limericks that begin with the phrase, "There once was a smug cow named Effie".
Day 14 - 15: Stay up for 36 hours in an internet commenting war over which actor would make a better Finnick Odair: Armie Hammer or Alex Pettyfer.
Day 16: You're more than halfway there! Celebrate with a "Hunger Games" theme party.
Day 17: Host your own version of Caesar Flickerman’s talk show in your living room. (Blue hair NOT optional).
Days 18 - 20: Re-read "The Hunger Games," highlighting the scenes you're most excited to see on the big screen.
Day 21: Buy a new copy of "The Hunger Games" as your original is now entirely covered in highlighter.
Day 22: Perfect your recipe for Peeta bread.
Day 23: Declare any friendships not based exclusively on your shared "Hunger Games" fandom on semi-permanent hiatus.
Day 24: Rename your dog "Haymitch".
Day 25: Plan your Reaping outfit.
Days 26 - 28: Become overwhelmed by excitement and sob uncontrollably in the fetal position for 48 hours.
Day 29: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
*snicker* I am planning to take a group of girls and also my co-op's book club. I am rereading the first book with the co-op kids. We plan to dress as capitol people.
ReplyDeleteLouis has finished the first chapter. :)
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